When my daughter was first born, I loved her like any new mom loves her baby. I thought she was the most beautiful, amazing thing I had ever seen. I couldn’t believe that this brand new person had actually come from me (although, after spending 14 hours in labor it was hard to forget).
But then, we brought her home, and reality set it. I was responsible for this tiny helpless baby who cried a lot. She had to be fed what seemed like all the time, and I suddenly had to change diapers, and that first bath was terrifying. I was tired all the time, and I was in pain, and even though I still loved her, I often wished for my old life. A life where I could sleep late on weekends, and where I could eat whatever I wanted without the fear that it would upset her stomach. I missed broccoli, and cauliflower, and cabbage filled eggrolls, and orange juice, and pineapple. I couldn’t wait for the day when I would go back to work and have some grown up-me time.
I would look at older babies and wish that she was already their age and eating solid foods, and sleeping through the night. I thought this stage would never end, and while I was going through it, it felt like it was taking forever. And now, I can’t believe how big she’s gotten, and that she’s already one of those older babies who are eating solid foods and sleeping through the night. And now, when I watch her sleep at night, my heart overflows with the love that I feel for her. I’m in awe that this little person, who started out so helpless and tiny, has grown so much in these few months, and I feel so priveliged to be part of her life and watch each stage unfold before me. I can’t wait to get home from work so I can see her and play with her, and I’m sorry to put her to bed at night because it means that my time with her for that day is over.
I hope one day she reads this and knows how much I love her. I can’t imagine loving her more, but in the words of Brad Paisley: “What I can’t see is how I’m ever gonna love you more…But I’ve said that before.”
Hardworkingmom's Blog 